Buzzword Bingo, the last part

Buzzword bingo offers a few more expressions to avoid:
stakeholder – Everybody’s talking about stake-holders these days. Do a google search. Do a database search. 3,957 articles have the keyword stakeholder. Most of these are about public agencies or public programs: HIV prevention, educational accountability, public sector scientific research. Health care really loves it. And one of their key stakeholder groups is consumers. That pretty much gets us all, doesn’t it?

But what does it mean? If you look it up in the merriam-webster online dictionary, you find:
Main Entry: stake·hold·er Pronunciation: 'stAk-"hOl-d&r Function: noun Date: 1708: a person entrusted with the stakes of bettors

I don’t think so.

From OED. Now this is a dictionary. It tells you the derivation of words, all possible definitions, when they were first used, even. They’ve got about three pages of "stake," and along about the fourth column of the second page, you find:

stakeholder "(a) one who holds the stake or stakes of a wager, etc.; (b) one who has a stake (sense in 1c) in something, esp. a business." So you go back to 1c–"the post to which a bull or bear was fastened to be baited." Hold the phone. Whoops, wrong 1c, that’s the first sense of the word "stake," about sticks. We need the second set of stake definitions, about money, something placed at risk, or, as they say in 1c: "to have something to gain or lose by the turn of events, to have an interest in;" OK, so that makes some sense.

If I’ve paid into social security all my life, or a pension plan, or have shares in a company, that makes me a stakeholder. I’ll buy that. But how come everybody is using it to mean anybody who might be affected by something. When you talk about issues like public health, what is WRONG with just saying THE PUBLIC??? How did "THE PUBLIC" become "STAKEHOLDERS"? Maybe it was fresh and interesting to use that term the first 300 times, but now it’s gone into the overused and just plain stupid category. Let’s call the public the public, and revert to only using the term "stakeholder" to mean what it really means: Anyone with a piece of the action.

Push the envelope: A phrase dictionary tells us the term originated with the airplane industry where the limits of a plane's performance were marked on a two-dimensional graph. The envelope is the area of the graph that indicates safe usage. The term is now used to mean stretch the boundaries, or exceed existing performance of software, or un-heard of levels of service, or, gasp, original ideas. In use since the late 1970s. Not fresh anymore.

Outside the box: This one was interesting the first time. Just the first time. At this point, if you’re saying "outside the box," you’re in the box.

no-brainer: OK, this is supposed to mean something is so easy to figure out, you don’t need a brain. When I hear it though, I think of something so stupid, whoever did it chose it said it, must not have had a brain. I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Finally, finally, this is it: verbing. This is taking a perfectly good noun, and using it as a verb. An early one was "contact." Please feel free to contact me if you need further information. Later, "access." How do we access your files? "Impact." This program will impact the region.

I thought impacting was something that happened to your bowels, or a wisdom tooth. But the business community thinks not. They even adverb it: "The two companies are forging an impactful strategic alliance." "Entries will be judged on their overall effectiveness and creative impactfulness." You forget what the noun is, so you make a noun out of a verbed noun: Their creative IMPACT. Thanks.

Sports folks like to use nouns as verbs, as well. This eliminates the need to use an actual complete sentence: someone doesn’t win a medal, they "medal." Medaling, not as in my mother is meddling in my business again; but who was that little Harry-Potter-looking-Swiss kid who medaled in the ski jumps in the last Olympics? A whole new verb. Ink. Sports guys don’t sign contracts, they "ink" them. Horses ship to races, guards defense the other team, and on it goes.

Business does it, too: re-skilling; visioning; transitioning.
And speaking of transitioning. . .Here’s my advice: watch your language! Make a note of any words, phrases, terms that bug you. Make a bingo card. Take it to a meeting with you. Or keep it beside you when you read the newspaper, or watch TV, or listen to the radio. You’ll be amazed how often you hear those dumb, trite phrases. Word of advice, though. If you’re in a meeting, don’t yell "Bingo!"